As a newly 40 year old woman attempting to “get back out there” after almost a year of singledom I was not anticipating, one of my non-negotiables/MEGA red flags is a man without a bed frame (amongst other things of course). Suffice to say, this amazing essay is another reason why I re-subscribed for another year of Internet Bedroom. Love you and your beautiful mind Rachel ❤️
In high school, my bedroom was my escape. My music studio that helped me avoid interactions I didn’t want to have with my mom.
As I got older and could control when I came and went, my room became more of a place I passed through. I’d throw my clothes and bag down and keep it moving.
Sharing a living space with my wife has definitely helped lol, but I feel like our room is still a place to pass through and drop stuff in.
Reminds me of what you were saying about our rooms shaping around our lives, a product of our living. This was a fascinating read 👏🏽
I loooove this Alex yes!! my room in high school was a dump and also my escape — it kind of looked like the hikikomori bedrooms tbh. being married is wild too because you’re like merging two different lives and two different approaches to using space for sure!!
P.s. I consume a heavy drip of “girl” creative room/studio setups in an effort to get neater more cozy aesthetic setups that spark joy but somehow can’t balance that past the 90s punk/grunge/goth other end of the spectrum. Past and present collide in the face of doomed impending future as I try to draw Hello Kitty Skulls.
This resonates with me and hits home a bit existentially as our bedroom is currently in the basement amongst all “my stuff”. I even recorded YouTube vids trying to navigate it esp. in response to grief.
I have spent several agonizing months living with a man (roommate i let live in my house for free because he was in a bad situation, for anyone getting nimby about things) and the thing that makes me the most insane is that i have offered to help him paint, split the cost of a real dresser or other furniture, but all he wants is his floor mattress, tv, xbox, and cardboard boxes of clothes that aren't in the closet. I don't care about trash i also live in filth behind the closed door of my bedroom but i want him to feel like he lives here and that it isn't a halfway house and he can make changes if he asks or even if he doesn't ask as long as he isn't tearing down walls. I don't know why so many men go their entire lives living in empty dirty apartments and homes until they move in with a girlfriend as if women are born complete with a set of dishes, silverware, and a bedroom set. They seem tl care so much about how everything from cars to haircuts look to other people but don't care if their own home is comfortable to them beyond bare necessities and sometimes not even that. It's a complete lack of selfcare and self definition and sometimes an expectation that someone else should be doing it for them.
I enjoyed this very much and can’t wait for your upcoming book! 🩷
ahhh I’m so glad! thanks for all your support Kristina 💞✨
As a newly 40 year old woman attempting to “get back out there” after almost a year of singledom I was not anticipating, one of my non-negotiables/MEGA red flags is a man without a bed frame (amongst other things of course). Suffice to say, this amazing essay is another reason why I re-subscribed for another year of Internet Bedroom. Love you and your beautiful mind Rachel ❤️
saraaaaa you’re gonna make me cry 🥹🥲 I so appreciate you and your support! we need to hang out irl one of these days too. 2025 goals!
Absolute 2025 goal! ❤️
In high school, my bedroom was my escape. My music studio that helped me avoid interactions I didn’t want to have with my mom.
As I got older and could control when I came and went, my room became more of a place I passed through. I’d throw my clothes and bag down and keep it moving.
Sharing a living space with my wife has definitely helped lol, but I feel like our room is still a place to pass through and drop stuff in.
Reminds me of what you were saying about our rooms shaping around our lives, a product of our living. This was a fascinating read 👏🏽
I loooove this Alex yes!! my room in high school was a dump and also my escape — it kind of looked like the hikikomori bedrooms tbh. being married is wild too because you’re like merging two different lives and two different approaches to using space for sure!!
P.s. I consume a heavy drip of “girl” creative room/studio setups in an effort to get neater more cozy aesthetic setups that spark joy but somehow can’t balance that past the 90s punk/grunge/goth other end of the spectrum. Past and present collide in the face of doomed impending future as I try to draw Hello Kitty Skulls.
I do love imagining you drawing hello kitty skulls JM!!
This resonates with me and hits home a bit existentially as our bedroom is currently in the basement amongst all “my stuff”. I even recorded YouTube vids trying to navigate it esp. in response to grief.
Life is a lot cheaper, simpler and easier that way. Aesthetics are no place to relax
I have spent several agonizing months living with a man (roommate i let live in my house for free because he was in a bad situation, for anyone getting nimby about things) and the thing that makes me the most insane is that i have offered to help him paint, split the cost of a real dresser or other furniture, but all he wants is his floor mattress, tv, xbox, and cardboard boxes of clothes that aren't in the closet. I don't care about trash i also live in filth behind the closed door of my bedroom but i want him to feel like he lives here and that it isn't a halfway house and he can make changes if he asks or even if he doesn't ask as long as he isn't tearing down walls. I don't know why so many men go their entire lives living in empty dirty apartments and homes until they move in with a girlfriend as if women are born complete with a set of dishes, silverware, and a bedroom set. They seem tl care so much about how everything from cars to haircuts look to other people but don't care if their own home is comfortable to them beyond bare necessities and sometimes not even that. It's a complete lack of selfcare and self definition and sometimes an expectation that someone else should be doing it for them.