✨and so it is✨
discussed: lizzie mcguire-style GRWMs; the pinnacle of 00s reality TV; wearable moth wings
Hihi welcome back to Internet Bedroom, a newsletter where I write about girl culture and nostalgia.
Summer is not going how I thought it would in that I thought I would have a lot of endless free time to spend in the woods and instead I am using my small amount of free time to watch the Netflix series about the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and thinking about how to be a woman is to perform.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Like, I literally canNOT stop thinking about the part where the cheerleaders in their 20s talk about getting hip surgery (in their 20s!!!!) because they have to perform jump splits (which is basically where you jump into the air and land in a split) every night. But, as one cheerleader who was forced into retirement at 25 from sustaining multiple injuries from jump splits notes: “We can’t not do the jump splits because everyone likes them!!!”
We are slowly but surely breaking down our bodies for the pleasure of other people, and everyone loves us (and hates us) for it.
And I think part of what is so fascinating to me about this DCC series is how it makes visible the often invisible system by which women are judged and valued based on ever-changing, often impossible standards. I don’t know about you all, but I’m not playing the social media comparison game. I’m playing a much, much worse game called “I stay up late at night wondering about all the people who are judging me for every thing I post or don’t post.” The jump splits of the mind, if you will.
I think we’re all playing this game a little more now, as we try to figure out how to make ourselves “go viral” and get the right ratio of “engagement” so we can live our “dreams.” But what if there was a way to opt out of the jump splits? What if we just focus on doing the work we’re compelled to do and trusting that the universe will help us find the audience we’re supposed to have?
But also, to be a woman is to perform, bitches!! So get to high-kicking!!!!! And please enjoy this newsletter as, perhaps, a small escape from the panoptic hell we’ve built for ourselves : )
watching: GRWM Cartoons
I am certain I’m not the only one who grew up thinking that someday I would be blessed with a cartoon avatar to narrate all my inner commentary a la Lizzie McGuire.
So of course I was immediately enchanted by
‘s GRWMs when they came across my TikTok infinite scroll. As makeup tutorials have been slowly degraded by influencers looking to make a quick buck recommending products that will probably leave you with a rash, Indya’s tutorials offer something new and nostalgic but inserting her cutie animated avatar into the cuts.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
If you’ve ever tried to animate something, that shit is not easy!!! So animating on top of editing a TikTok on top of doing her makeup and hair flawlessly (not to mention doing this all to a effortlessly curated playlist of pop punk and alt rap)? INSPIRED. Indya should be getting way more hype and if she’s reading this right now, please please bring back your Substack, Indya! It’s so fun and cute.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Are there any other creators animating themselves? Because I would like to follow them too.
remembering: Pretty Wild
After the success of scripted “reality” shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Simple Life, and The Hills, in the mid-2000s networks like E!, MTV, and VH1 would effectively give anyone a shot at their own reality show. Including a former 80s Playboy pinup living in a Westlake condo with three teenage girls who she is coaching in the ways of celebrity stardom.
The opening moments of Pretty Wild’s pilot episode introduces each of the girls — Tess, Gabby, and Alexis — as their mother passes out their morning doses of Adderall, which is honestly so brilliant and campy and of its time.
In quick succession we meet Tess who is cast as the Kim Kardashian of the group; Alexis, the wild child; and Gabby, the good girl who actually does her homeschool homework. We also get a good look at mom Andrea, who has dead eyes and a homeschool curriculum based off The Secret and its infamous law of attraction. The introduction to the Pretty Wild family is very much modeled after Keeping Up. But whereas the Kardashian/Jenners had wealth and proximity to fame to make them look just aspirational enough to a 00s audience, it’s clear that the Pretty Wild family is teetering off the rails. There is absolutely no polishing up the family for television, no matter how much mom Andrea tries to reel in the narrative by warmly assuring viewers: “These girls are on their way to being famous and I’ve gotta be watching them every step of the way.”
The first episode quickly spirals from morning doses of Adderall and constructing vision boards to the LAPD showing up at the family’s door with a search warrant looking for middle child Alexis Neiers. Soon, we are pacing outside of a police station alongside a Juicy Couture tracksuit clad Andrea, learning that Alexis is wanted for her involvement with the Bling Ring.
Pretty Wild is a y2k Valley of the Dolls. The nine episodes that made it to air, all of which are now posted to YouTube, take away all the sheen and gloss of 00s reality programming, which I think is why I remain fascinated by the show. Pretty Wild breaks the kayfabe agreement that other scripted reality shows tacitly agree upon. Each plot piece that is set up as a carrot that might advance the girls’ career — from a lingerie fashion show to a feature in Vanity Fair — quickly devolves into something darker. That Vanity Fair piece, for instance, turns out to be a hit piece that broke the story of the Bling Ring, leading to the infamous sound bite in which Alexis tries to leave journalist Nancy Jo a voicemail to clarify that she wasn’t wearing Louboutins to court (they were little brown BB kitten heels!!!!!!).
No matter how badly its characters want to get ahead, they are undercut by real life that they clearly cannot handle at every turn, performance veering off into actual breakdowns and desperation. And of all the celebrities I would love to ghostwrite memoirs for, Alexis Neiers — you’re at the very top of my list <3
like what you’re reading so far? not ready to pay for a subscription just yet?
obsessing: wearable moth wings
There is a particular aesthetic I’ve been tracking that my friend and I have deemed “Gloopcore” and no I’m not going to explain it but consider it the biggest trend of the fall. This is my first entry documenting The Rise of Gloop.
Meet teg, an artist based out of Chicago who fabricates the most amazing wearable moth and butterfly wings, as well as other garments that evoke a deep nostalgia in soft pastels torn from CareBears and baby blankets. All of their work is crafted out of up-cycled scraps of quilts, soft fabrics like muslin and silk, and, of course, baby blankets. And, I mean, please just look at this backpack:
Or this utterly enchanting winged harness:
Teg’s objects fall in the magical in-between, part sculpture, part wearable garment. As they point out on their website, they seek “to bridge the gap between the wearable & the magical” aiming to “queer the fantastical & offer u a safe and expansive place to play, go beyond the norm & imagine.”
Ok, grrrrls. Thank you so, so much for reading and for sharing this Internet Bedroom with me <3 I’m going to be taking a *~*SUMMER BREAK*~* but we’ll be back on August 14th, just in time for back 2 school. If you enjoy this newsletter, make sure to share it with your internet bestie!
Also, last week I tried my hand at giving some advice in the very first Internet Bedroom advice column!
So check that out and if you need any advice, leave your questions in the comments xoxoxo rach
Pretty Wild was such a hyper fixation for me!!
brb gonna go watch lizzie mcguire again