makes total sense after you learn that the studies on adolescent-young adult frontal lobe development in the 90s just stopped observing the participants once they were in their 20s, and more recent studies found we keep developing well into our 30s :D
I'm 46 and I think my frontal lobe just developed this year so... never give up. Lol. But I would definitely add neurodivergent's to your list. It's hard to feel like an adult when you're constantly masking how difficult life is for you. In my experience anyway.
I was just talking to someone the other day and I said the same thing about myself. I still, at 37, feel like I'm not fully there yet and have what I've called a '14-year old mindset.' And that feeling is still there even with what everyone says is a "good" job, working on my 3rd degree degree, and a slew of other things that should, but societal standards, make me feel like an adult and fully together. But I don't. And what you wrote really resonates and makes sense- I haven't been nurturing the side of me, the creative side, that I crave and miss so much. Something for me to work on...
Also, this sentence is everything and I have it on a sticky note on my desk now: Your only job is to water yourself, water your flowers.
random question, but I was wondering about your thoughts on the connection between women’s bodies and our bedrooms? I’ve been thinking about a post on tumblr I saw that said “I miss Free The Nipple” and all these girls reblogged it saying they always free the nipple because they go braless, and the OP had to clarify what Free The Nipple even is. it made me think about my classmates who said they always wore a bra to bed, they couldn’t fathom not doing it. and it made me think about an abuser from my past who, when we were in high school, claimed he could psychically see me naked in my room. I was 14 and highly impressionable to this specific person. I still sort of questioned it, but it still made me feel like I was being watched no matter what I did. I couldn’t really be at peace in my room. is there a connection to our bodily autonomy and bodily freedoms with our bedrooms?
ooh thank you so much for this question and I really hate that you dealt with abuse like that -- he's extremely gross and horrible!
I do have a whole section in the book where I think about femme autonomy, bodily safety, surveillance, and the bedroom. for a year or so growing up, my sister and I's bedroom was at the end of the hall and there was a man living with us (not related) and his bedroom was between ours and our parent's room. I think about that a lot and how I never felt fully safe in that house and I think a lot of those experiences bled over into the writing. the bedroom can be such an incredible space for self-development and figuring out your body and your own autonomy, but at the same time not all of us experience the privilege of a safe space to grow.
big hugs to you. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. what are your thoughts?
it’s crazy how much abuse relationships stop your development, since you can’t grow while you’re trying to survive the people who take everything from you. I left one 3ish years ago and wow, there’s so much life I lost to that man…
I loved this. Please write more like this if you feel like it, it is so interesting to hear other people's opinions and perspectives on life!! I am 23 and juggling my career and my studies and everything feels so much and sightly impossible so hearing that there's time, that I'll always have time is healing haha <3
you definitely have time! my brain was such a scrambled mess at 23 -- I'm not sure how I survived that haha. but I'm so glad this helped and I'll def write more big sis advice <3
Awesome post! I definitely relate so much to this article because I've always felt like I've been holding myself back when it comes to showcasing my true interests in what I really want for my content. I think it was when I became an adult that I started to embrace the things that I really enjoyed and put them into a more productive venue, like blogging and making videos.
I needed to read this so much. At 21, all I feel like I'm doing is failing or falling behind my peers. Especially whenever I go on LinkedIn, and everyone and their mother is posting their internship recaps. After some very life-changing experiences, I feel a little bit lost right now. This was the best big sister post ever. Thank you for your beautiful words!
makes total sense after you learn that the studies on adolescent-young adult frontal lobe development in the 90s just stopped observing the participants once they were in their 20s, and more recent studies found we keep developing well into our 30s :D
ok now I feel less insane! because I'm like, wait...I really feel like my brain didn't get it together until last year.
I'm 46 and I think my frontal lobe just developed this year so... never give up. Lol. But I would definitely add neurodivergent's to your list. It's hard to feel like an adult when you're constantly masking how difficult life is for you. In my experience anyway.
never give up!! and yes I think we can safely say some neurodivergence is in the mix for me but I love it <3
I was just talking to someone the other day and I said the same thing about myself. I still, at 37, feel like I'm not fully there yet and have what I've called a '14-year old mindset.' And that feeling is still there even with what everyone says is a "good" job, working on my 3rd degree degree, and a slew of other things that should, but societal standards, make me feel like an adult and fully together. But I don't. And what you wrote really resonates and makes sense- I haven't been nurturing the side of me, the creative side, that I crave and miss so much. Something for me to work on...
Also, this sentence is everything and I have it on a sticky note on my desk now: Your only job is to water yourself, water your flowers.
random question, but I was wondering about your thoughts on the connection between women’s bodies and our bedrooms? I’ve been thinking about a post on tumblr I saw that said “I miss Free The Nipple” and all these girls reblogged it saying they always free the nipple because they go braless, and the OP had to clarify what Free The Nipple even is. it made me think about my classmates who said they always wore a bra to bed, they couldn’t fathom not doing it. and it made me think about an abuser from my past who, when we were in high school, claimed he could psychically see me naked in my room. I was 14 and highly impressionable to this specific person. I still sort of questioned it, but it still made me feel like I was being watched no matter what I did. I couldn’t really be at peace in my room. is there a connection to our bodily autonomy and bodily freedoms with our bedrooms?
ooh thank you so much for this question and I really hate that you dealt with abuse like that -- he's extremely gross and horrible!
I do have a whole section in the book where I think about femme autonomy, bodily safety, surveillance, and the bedroom. for a year or so growing up, my sister and I's bedroom was at the end of the hall and there was a man living with us (not related) and his bedroom was between ours and our parent's room. I think about that a lot and how I never felt fully safe in that house and I think a lot of those experiences bled over into the writing. the bedroom can be such an incredible space for self-development and figuring out your body and your own autonomy, but at the same time not all of us experience the privilege of a safe space to grow.
big hugs to you. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. what are your thoughts?
this made me laugh. and i understand.
my goal always thank you <3
it’s crazy how much abuse relationships stop your development, since you can’t grow while you’re trying to survive the people who take everything from you. I left one 3ish years ago and wow, there’s so much life I lost to that man…
I loved this. Please write more like this if you feel like it, it is so interesting to hear other people's opinions and perspectives on life!! I am 23 and juggling my career and my studies and everything feels so much and sightly impossible so hearing that there's time, that I'll always have time is healing haha <3
you definitely have time! my brain was such a scrambled mess at 23 -- I'm not sure how I survived that haha. but I'm so glad this helped and I'll def write more big sis advice <3
Awesome post! I definitely relate so much to this article because I've always felt like I've been holding myself back when it comes to showcasing my true interests in what I really want for my content. I think it was when I became an adult that I started to embrace the things that I really enjoyed and put them into a more productive venue, like blogging and making videos.
the older I get, the more I become myself at 13 all over again <3
I needed this today. Thank you 🥲
<3 <3 <3
I needed to read this so much. At 21, all I feel like I'm doing is failing or falling behind my peers. Especially whenever I go on LinkedIn, and everyone and their mother is posting their internship recaps. After some very life-changing experiences, I feel a little bit lost right now. This was the best big sister post ever. Thank you for your beautiful words!
oh no I feel like I missed something Mon! what is this about?